Hello everybody. Again, I apologize for the long blogging hiatus! I'm actually visiting my boyfriend at his place right now so I unfortunately do not have my DSLR on hand so you'll just have to settle for Macbook photos for today. However, I decided that since it's the morning right now, I'll type away on a different kind of topic while my boyfriend snoozes away... (He's definitely not a morning person).
Just because I hate blog posts that lack personal pictures... I'm suffering from one of those, what on earth do I do with my hair?! Kinda days.
So I know many people claim their personalities to be awkward. Typically, they would describe themselves as socially awkward, don't know how to talk to people (primarily of the opposite sex), always does the wrong thing, says the wrong thing, you know, all that stuff. There's so much hype about Jennifer Lawrence and her quirky awkwardness, but lets just say you can be awkward in a whole different way.
I, for one would never claim to be socially awkward. In fact, I'm quite socially unawkward, if that's a word. I've never had trouble speaking in public, meeting new people, talking to adults, authorities, boys, girls, you name it, I'm fine with it. But beneath all that outer confidence I may carry along with me, I seem to carry along tons of inner awkwardness with being too sociable. Now I know it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but let me explain.
My whole life I've been awkwardly taller than everyone, just a tiny bit bigger than everyone (not big enough to be one of those big and confident girls) and was just... always the girl who tried too hard to be friends with you. When I met people, the first thing I'd want to do is become your friend. No matter if you give me a bitch vibe or if you seem like the sweetest girl in the world. I'd try so hard, oftentimes it would turn you off to being my friend.
"Man, that girl is soooo weird! She's like soooo talkative and in my face!"
Yep, that's as close to a description of me as you can get. I've been called intimidating, over hyper over everything, or "the really annoyingly talkative girl". It's gotten to the point where, although we're now friends, my college roommate has noticed when we first met. She's more of the quiet, don't know how to talk to people type of awkward person, and she mentioned how when we first met, she didn't quite want to be my friend since I was so "in her face."
"She talks way too much."
That was the description my junior kindergarden teacher gave to my mom during my first ever parent teacher interview. Nothing has changed. Honestly, a lot of people get turned off by me because I've got this inner awkwardness that makes me super afraid of awkward silences. You know, when the two of you just awkwardly stare each other down without saying anything. It's not that I don't try to change it, I do. But there's some things about your personality that sticks with you no matter what. People have called me a bitch because I spoke so much and tried to be friends with everyone. (I honestly don't know how that even correlates) Trust me, it feels no better than if someone were to call you stupid because you said the wrong thing.
Okay yeah, there was too much text so I threw in another picture.
The moral of this post is not to just to talk about myself (well yeah, maybe just a bit) but to introduce to you another perspective of awkward people. If you see a girl who seemingly has no problem talking to people or making friends, she too, is being judged for who she is. Maybe you're one of the stereotypical awkward people, but it doesn't mean people who know how to talk to other people always have it perfect.
We're all being judged for who we are.
So next time before you assume sociable people have life easy, just remember no one has life easy. He/She may seem too excited to be your friend, but try not to think of it as creepy, but attempt to appreciate somebody taking the effort to try with you, and reciprocate it.